20/20

If you have glasses, you know how hard it is to wear sunglasses.
Nathanael loved wearing sunglasses all the time.
It became his trademark.
My son, Nathanael had perfect vision.
He was proud of the fact that he could see things far ahead,
that those of us with glasses struggled to make out on the horizon. He could even drive at night (much to my disapproval) wearing sunglasses.

He also had the uncanny insight to see things in people that most of us never take the time to notice. Part of what made him such a kindhearted soul.

Because every story I write has a moral to go along with it, you should understand that my son's exceptional eyesight was the intro to this story. This was a story I started to write several years before the infamous Two Thousand Twenty (aka:2020) landmark of time came crawling into the picture. I just didn't have the heart to finish it until today.

So by now, I am sure you have heard the expression, or sentiment, about the year 2020 being the year for us to SEE CLEARLY.

But what if I were to tell you that I have been there? I was on this road already, 2020 is nothing worse than where I have been. Now, knowing something as a fact, and accepting them as truth are two completely different things.

 

Most of my life I spent "wearing sunglasses" in the dark. Never quite understanding in the depths of my spirit. Always fighting an invisible war against myself. As a young child, I tried to erase the pain, but couldn't figure out how to tie a knot. Or the timing was off, and people came home too early. Or, well, let's just say it was a secret only I shared. Once I conquered the gremlins of self-esteem and it's ugly companion, bulimia, I was on a brighter path and much happier days with family. So I have known pain, I have held hands with sorrow, I have shared secrets with the dark. Those are grisly allies.

As I am on the other side of grief, carrying the scars of many things I could try to bear on my own; I don't want to wear the sunglasses in the dark anymore. I may never be able to stop the taunting accusations in my head, but I must daily remember not to let them build a room to stay.

The Savior of the world came to this earth as a child, grew to be a man, taught many disciples the truth and gave them hope for a better future. When He died on the cross, I was on His mind. You were in His thoughts. He saw every single pain, sickness, and sorrow of this world. He felt every wrong and evil deed. He knew everything we ever chose to do that made Him weep. And yet, He forgave us all. 

There is nothing we can do to change His mind, He will always love us. He will always take us back.

Oh, and... He rose again!! And, so with that knowledge, I can hold my head higher, I can smile when things are dark, I can try again tomorrow. I have 20/20 vision but only with God's help. Because my brokenness can not change His love for me, or for you. In fact, it makes Him love us more. 

Just don't lose your sunglasses at the beach.

This song is from a band we saw in concert, and where the idea came from for this story

"20/20" by: Group1 Crew

 I wanna believe it
When doubt tries to ransom me
I know that I need it
The faith to see what you see

What if the broken me was really your masterpiece
And everything wrong I see, you've made right
I know that your love redeems, you'll finish the work in me
I am made perfectly in your eyes

 

Taking these broken pieces, looking forward to the finished product @Brick by Brick

written by: Sue Leerhoff