There are many things we can learn simply by observing life and others. Sometimes we must have a little nudge in the right direction or even a guide to navigating this treacherous world. Some things we simply miss in the ever-revolving door of life, but then there are the deep and mysterious truths that some of us may not know how to carry on our own.
Being one of those who if I am pointed in the right direction I can generally find my way until the road gets much too hard to travel with my little handbag of knowledge. But when the signposts become all too frequent and cobbled and broken and sirens blare and voices become a buzzing roar of confusion and distress, we all need a helping hand to reach out and lead us through the thickets.
Dealing with trauma, depression, anxiety, grief, loss, and physical health issues can be daunting any day of the year. But then the holidays roll around and it becomes a mighty task indeed. Even those closest to you, who may be dealing with the same things in their own way may not notice the tide has become too tall for you to ride the wave this time around.
I have survived through six seasons before this one on this lonely journey of child loss. My health issues and the previously dormant depression and a multitude of accompanying challenges make this journey especially difficult. It doesn't even matter how many loved ones you may have rooting for you, the path is yours alone to walk triumphantly.
What we need is to listen to those who have been there.
When someone has paved the way it becomes easier to sift through the debris and find a straight path.
Now let's take a look at a sooty utensil that some of my readers may not even be familiar with using. Have you ever cooked with a cast-iron skillet or a dutch oven? As a young family, we used to go camping in the summer. Nature has a way of teaching us many things, and eating is about as natural as breathing so here we go!
I am going to try to parallel the skills needed to cook on an open fire with how to navigate these "holly jolly days" that some of us dread so terribly. My parables may not always be perfect, but I hope you can learn even a little from my crude attempts at teaching.
Step 1:The first thing you need to know about cast iron is that it will rust uncontrollably if you do not season it. Then you must care for it gently every time it is used to keep that seasoning protection.
It is not a quick wash in the dishwasher utensil! Well cared for, this stalwart beauty will last for generations of family cookouts.
Caring for a cast-iron pan requires a dab of olive oil wiped all around the surfaces and a long, steady bake in the oven. After it has been thoroughly heated, you wipe off the excess oil and heat it a bit more. Now you have a healthy version of a non-stick pan that will make many great meals to come.
Here is the comparison - The first thing anyone needs to walk this road called life is a firm faith in the Living God. Without Him, we are doomed to fail even if things may be smooth in the here and now.
In the words of TobyMac: "I don't wanna gain the whole world, and lose my soul".
A well-cared-for soul will be the greatest gift you can give yourself in this lifetime. The priceless gift of God's Son is like the seasoning on the skillet. His death on the cross is the seasoning required to begin. The oil on my cast-iron is the protection from rust, much like the blood that Jesus shed on the cross to remove our sins. The heated oven is the pain and anguish Jesus took upon Himself when He became our sins, which God can not condone. If you are cooking over a campfire, you may see this parallel clearer, since the pan will now become charred and blackened by the ashes. But then, like Jesus wipes away our sins, as you wipe the ashen skillet with a dry rag, it will remove the darkness and grime. Once the pan is wiped clean, it is heated again to seal the embedded oils and create a smooth non-stick surface. Our prayers are much like the reheating of the pan, to seal in the gift of God's forgiveness.
Step 2: To cook in a skillet usually requires a small amount of oil before you add the ingredients, to keep food from sticking to the edges. Following a recipe, you gather your ingredients, heat some wood to coals for packing around the dish and its lid. Keep some water handy, for the fire makes the food dry out quickly and in case the fire gets out of control, you need a way to keep safe.
Cooking your favorite dish on the fire is akin to living your life with troubles and overwhelming situations. Sometimes, as we cook, a film of build-up on the surface needs to be removed with a skimmer. If you are human you will encounter trouble, but some of us have more layers to skim off and it may keep coming back.
We all need to eat and once in a while, our food is burned beyond recognition. If your food is getting burned every time you cook, there's a problem that needs attention. If the coals keep burning out before the food is done, you also need to adjust your fire.
If your campfire is too hot and becomes an uncontrolled inferno, you must learn ways ahead of time to stop the damages. So in our lives when an issue becomes too great to handle on our own, we need to learn ways to stop the raging inside. When life hangs in the balance, the first thing you need to do is get help. There are hotlines to call if you can't find someone you trust to bear the weight of your reality. If you can, though, have a private conversation with someone who is patient and can handle emergencies and dizzying thoughts, and can help you find rational levels of being. This is the recipe for a safe and sound holiday slump. Whether your recipe includes doctors, medicine, therapies, and support groups depends on what is needed for you. The goal is to be able to make the recipe yourself, but it isn't an insult to keep a recipe on hand to read every time!
Step 3: Now let's say our imagined campfire recipe has cooked and has been eaten, bellies full, leftovers were taken care of, and now the task of cleaning up the mess is in front of us. Our cast-iron skillet or dutch oven is grimy on the outside and a sloppy, sticky mess inside. What to do? Now as a general rule, you do not use soap on these. But if you use the same pot for cooking outdoors as well as making a nice steaming bowl of chili in the winter indoors, you may need to add a little soap to the hot water so the ashes do not smear all over your pristine kitchen. Using a wet scrubby with a paste of salt and or baking soda, the inside of your pot will be gleaming and clean. But now you must recondition the entire pan immediately, or rust will take over as soon as it dries. After rinsing the wash water, salt, and soap away you must heat the pan at a low even heat to dry the water droplets away. Then dab a tiny bit of oil on the surfaces again, rubbing it in as well as you can while it is warm. Turn the heat back on and let it bake for a few minutes again. Carefully wipe off the excess oil once more and continue heating a little longer. Let it cool off, and put it away until the next time. If you follow the instructions it will get easier and better with time. Layers of protection make this pan a work of art and a joy to use for years!
So how does this get me through the holidays?????
Following the instructions of your doctors, therapists, pastors, and friends,
you must take the recipe and use it every time.
If none of these have helped you before, perhaps you forgot the first step in the recipe - ask God to get you through everything that comes your way. Even if it is a simple "Help me, God!"
Even if it is a constant conversation between you and Him, in fact, I will guarantee that is what He would have us do. We must become so dependent on Him that all else fades in the distance. He cares deeply for each and every one of us and desires our love in return. If you love someone, you can not get enough of them, you want to tell them everything, you want to know more about them as well.
Ask God in your prayers and as you read the Bible, God's instruction manual (remember the oil and seasoning? ...the repeated steps, the requirements for keeping away rust?) to show you what works best for you and your situation.
Ask around, ask your friends who understand, ask your support groups, whoever you can think of that may give you insight. Learn the little things that may have escaped your learning processes, the things that others have learned to cope with difficult times. What helps you daily? What helps you calm down? What helps redirect your train of thought when it threatens to derail you? What gets you in a better frame of mind? What do you do when nightmares interrupt your sleep and ruin another day? Do you recognize the signs of an oncoming storm?
We must become our own monitor. We must become our own cook with a cast-iron skillet.
Not only does the barometer tell me why my joints and migraine are causing so much trouble, but when the winds come howling and the brain starts a descending spiral of confusion, I need to learn to pay attention and head it off at the pass.
Prayer is the best line of defense, but action is also required.
I must go through a string of rational thoughts to help me see where I am headed and why I don't have to follow those shadows anymore.
Then I must choose an activity to get me to change directions and get as far away as possible from the oncoming storm.
Music is usually a go-to choice for immediate benefits. Whether you listen or play an instrument, or sing, the idea is to get you to change your mind's soundtrack. Drawing has been a successful help to me, even though I am just a beginner. In my crisis mode, I was only capable of coloring those ornately designed adult books, but it got me through many, many hard days. Once I was on the road to recovery, I began to think - "hey, I could draw something like these if I tried." So began my lifelong untapped desire to learn to draw like my brother and a cartoon series I have created in memory of him and his skill as an artist and car body repairman.
I also use the craft I learned once upon a long time ago from a dear friend to crochet blankets for anyone in need, in loving memory of our son.
Balancing the desire to get things done and the ability, or lack of it with my psoriatic arthritis is a constant battle and requires continued seasoning much like my favorite cast iron skillet.
I hope I have helped you on this rusty, dusty road called "the holiday season"!
Comments
Post a Comment