Brick by Brick: Rebuilding the Broken

Life has never been the pretty little postcard that everyone gets at Christmas time. We all are careful to only let the world see our best moments. Why are we so ashamed to show the wounds that make us limp? As parents, we are quick to see the real reason little Johnny is cranky. Because we know he hasn't had lunch, and it's waaaay past nap time. Any loving parent would ensure as soon as possible, that you get the mac'n cheese safely to the table and in Johnny's little tummy, so he can fall asleep in his bed and not in the ketchup. (even in our best attempts, things happen) Or if the car has a grinding sound every time you turn corners, you know enough to get the mechanic to fix that wheel bearing. (or something) So when we have pieces of life that just won't stop grinding our gears, we usually, eventually, find out how to remedy the pain. There are many ways to remedy life's hard knocks, not all of which are good in the long run. But therapy, whethe...

Have you ever dreamed of what heaven's door looks like? It isn't uncommon for those who have lost a loved one, to have dreams so real that you aren't sure if it was a dream. To wake up with tears in your eyes because you want it to be true. In one of my dreams about Nathanael, I woke up with not only tears because I had to leave, but I was also sweating, on my legs. In my struggle with Psoriatic Arthritis, I also sweat at random any way, but all over. So it made it harder to come back to reality, because I was dreaming of a doorway full of light, but with the rush of a river and smooth, round stones - and I could feel them. I don't remember the whole dream, only that I really wanted to go through that doorway and I had taken my socks and shoes off, and started to dip my toes in the strange water that flowed both in and out of the hole.   The last scene impacted me so much, I immediately tried to draw a picture of the doorway. Then I thought of t...

"An enlarged heart (cardiomegaly) isn't a disease, but rather a sign of another condition."  As Mayo Clinic patient care explains:  "Certain conditions may cause the heart muscle to thicken or one of the chambers of the heart to dilate, making the heart larger. Depending on the condition, an enlarged heart may be temporary or permanent." Having multiple family members with various heart disease, makes me susceptible to my own heart health issues. I also have lost family to heart problems. Understandably, then, I was alert to the possibility of my own difficulties. Wearing a heart monitor at my brother's funeral, I was quickly shuffled through the hoops of many tests. So far, I am "only" on the high risk list, which means to keep the blood pressure and cholesterol levels clean. So the good news is - I don't have an enlarged heart. But - I have a permanently enlarged HEART. Expanded, kind of like the Grinch? Am I saying I am, ...

In just two days, we should be celebrating our son's 27th birthday, with his bride and the rest of the family. But the reality of this grieving mother is as complicated as Tolstoy's "War and Peace". The achingly lo-o-o-ong story set during Napoleon's invasion of Russia which takes you deep into the lives of such diverse characters, rich and poor alike, the influential and those of seemingly no consequence. The ride Tolstoy brings us on in his famous novel is straight out of the pages of humanity. Everyone has a part to play in the grand scheme of things, and not everything works out neatly in the end. During the story, there's a war going on, not only in the country, but in the lives of all the characters. I am fighting a war as well. A battle between war and peace. I know my son is safe in the arms of Jesus. His battles are over, Nathanael has finished the war. I should be at peace, and deep down I am, because I know where he is, I didn't "lo...

 How many times have we wished for warmer, sunny days in the winter, or longed for cooler winds to blow in the middle of summer? I think our fickle human-ness presents itself most frequently when we think we have had sufficient exposure to a certain object, and we feel it is time for a change. As if we are in charge of the weather, or how fast a wound heals, or how long it takes to commute from one place to another. This year is a strange one, winter can't seem to release her grasp on the wheel of seasons. But never fear - Spring always follows winter, and after spring comes summer, which brings us to autumn, and back again to winter. Round and round it goes, year after year after year. So then, how does one cope with the seasons that may not come as expected? The seasons of life. In your autumn and winter years, you are presumed to harvest the joys of watching your little sprouts turned adults, in their summer days springing forth with new buds of yet another fresh sp...

I remember when I finally got my first smart phone. I was so excited! Now I didn't have to be attached to the home computer for current info. I could check weather at any given moment, use the GPS in my car, check email, oh so many possibilities. The best part was I needed a touchscreen instead of tiny buttons which my aching arthritic hands couldn't navigate. (and sometimes my hands can't find their way around a touchscreen either, but that's another story)  - Stop laughing! Who am I kidding? I'm laughing. But anyhoo, I was so excited to open the package and plug that pretty little thing in, to be able to use it soon. But something was wrong, it only charged if I held the cord a certain way. I didn't realize it at first, until it had been hours without any charge. I thought my phone was to blame. Greaaaat... So I looked in our spare cord box. Please tell me I'm not the only one with a spare cord box?  Ba-da-bing-ba-da-boom! Whaddaya know? There...

It's not the month of Christmas magic, but I can guess most of us have an ELF stuffed onto a shelf somewhere. Tucked away neatly in a box, patiently waiting for the next season.  I wonder if he has feelings? Does he feel unnecessary, or unwanted, the rest of the time?   Does he get claustrophobia like Jessie from "Toy Story" ? Does he think he is like a genie in a bottle, hoping you will hurry up and use those three wishes? Do you think he is sad that he can't be with us every single day? By now, you might think I am a raving lunatic, or a child with a wild imagination?  Funny, you say that. If we could be honest, we are all guilty of putting our ELF on our shelf. Still confused? Stay with me here! How many times do we run to God, hoping he will fix our problem(s) and as soon as the crisis is over, we immediately take over and return our genie to the bottle? His job is done, we think. We can take it from here. WE THINK. What happens ...

Who can remember the commercial?  - "When E.F. Hutton talks, people listen."    The commercial where an airplane full of businessmen are talking about finances. One guy starts out with - "Well, my broker is E.F. Hutton, and he says...." Cue the entire flight of passengers leaning in to hear every word. If a stock broker is so valued by some, I wonder, when trouble comes, how close do we listen when God speaks? Is our pocketbook more valuable than our life? Which would you hand over? We just need to remember, to look at nature to see how God cares for everything He has created.   Spring always follows Winter.  No matter how long it lingers, or can't seem to make up it's mind if it is time to exit Center Stage quite yet. The birds always find a place to nest, even in some most unlikely places. Pretty crazy places sometimes. Places that don't make sense to our superior human minds.  Still, as humans we get in some pretty crazy pl...

Poetry is beautiful in so many different ways.  To the reader it can play like music to the ear,  how it trills and sways,  the flow and pitch,  the harmony and repetition,  the increase in volume at times,  and the soft whispers of rest in between. It is soothing to the creator in all of us. It speaks on so many levels. When a writer pens a poem, he is writing from the heart. He knows how to take us on a journey we may not have thought was possible. It is in creating, where we can begin to put into order, the chaos we can do nothing to fix. It is the little piece of Creator that lives in every one of us. The promise from the lover of our soul, that He has even more to give, and He loves us more than we can imagine. Just think of the hope for the future He has planned! As many writers find inspiration from the hardships and heartaches that leaves humanity wondering what to do, they all weave a common thread. Only i...