Anxiety 101: My Primer

When the path is too hard to find on your own, you need someone to lead you through the haze.

(I started writing this post over two years ago.) The fog was so thick, I could feel it slithering up my spine. The once silent beast had made it's way into my senses, no hope for recovery this time.

The high-functioning anxiety had turned ugly. Even my loved ones had never seen this side of me before. My entire life, I was accustomed to hiding the darkness within. Like an ill-gotten prize to hoard in the filthy corners of my being.

There is no definite explanation why a child is tormented so, with thoughts and feeble attempts of self-harm. To carry those characteristics to adulthood is a heavy burden none should bear. Everyone's story is different, yet many are the same. Some of our stories may end well, others are rocky and difficult beyond our own strength. Those are the stories that give us courage and fortitude to fight harder than ever before. 

When it becomes too dark to see, we reach for a light source. What's handy? A match? A candle? Flashlight? The light switch? 

Whatever it is, we need to know where it is before the darkness envelopes us. 

We must have it logged into our memory bank for future use. You may be able to find the light switch in someone else's home in the dark, but I am sure you will find several other hard objects greeting you with a sharp pain before you get to those lights. Even in your own home, things can be misplaced and cause you to stumble in the path to a brighter day.

When you are not feeling well, is it very easy to go about your daily business? When you have the flu, do you feel like running a marathon? On the other hand, if your child is sick, do you expect them to carry on as if nothing can stop them? We don't expect anyone to function as usual when they have a bad back, or a broken leg. There is healing that needs to take place - whether it needs to be a full body cast, a trip to the chiropractor, neurosurgeon, or just the bathroom all day. It's not that easy to do on your own. Usually someone else needs to get you there.

It is the same with mental illnesses. We are not able to fix it on our own. But if we do not tell anyone, they may never even have a clue what is going on inside. I am not pretending to understand all illnesses, or even similar issues to mine. Heck, I don't understand me. But we can learn, bit by bit, at least, what makes us tick. What sets off the time bombs? What do we need to avoid? What should we cling to with every fiber in our soul? What should we be feeding our minds? What should make us run as fast as we can in the opposite direction? What helps us calm down, what stops the train from derailing again? Who sets all the buzzers blaring? Who always knows just what to say when you need it most? When that person who always seems to make you feel like trash comes around, what will your new response be? You are in control of what you let affect you. What you think about is truly what you become. If we sit and stew about how bad life is, just count on life being pretty miserable.

No one needs any help trying to be discouraged. We can do a fine job of that on our own.

When all that you can think about is just how broken you are, you will be unable to heal. This is called being stuck. No matter how many times you have to dig yourself out of the ditch, you can escape the brokenness by learning how to make your path brighter. 

What we need is someone to help us climb out of the pit of despair and teach us to turn on the light ourselves.

"The light of the world is Jesus", the Bible says. I grew up hearing the Bible, reading the Bible, memorizing it even. Just because I was enveloped in the word of God, doesn't guarantee a life of ease. If I were in a room full of lamps, knew where they all were, had used them yesterday and the day before that, it still won't help me, if I don't physically walk over there and flip those switches tonight. I have to turn that light on every single evening for it to be of any use to me. So in this walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I must daily remember to switch on the light of God's word to keep me out of the fog that trails behind me every step of the way.

Following the Light Rebuilding this Life written by: Sue Leerhoff

@ https://www.facebook.com/rebuildingbrickbybrick