Not Exactly What I Was Looking For

 Please don't tell me I am the only one who misplaces things.

 I must admit, organization isn't my strong suit. I have a Dr.Jekyll/ Mr. Hyde ( or hide? ) approach to filing things away. The intentions are fine, but distractions are sometimes louder and - "One sheep, two sheep, I'm beginning to lose sleep!" Or however that song goes....Ok, time for the monster to go back under the bed where he belongs.

 

 I make lists to accomplish daily goals. I fight against this gremlin every day. Some days I win. Every once in a while, though, he gets the upper hand. 

But sometimes, the game takes a surprise twist.

For instance, I need to wear finger-less gloves almost year round to keep my hands from going blue, (thanks, Reynaud's), and they need to be compression gloves to ease the crippling Psoriatic pain in the joints. So, I must have a pair available in the vehicles, by my bed, in the living room, and the kitchen. Great! Got it!

Until I wear the living room gloves to bed. Or forget to put the car gloves back. Or I lose one out of my pocket. 

Or I get a lovely pair of heavenly soft wool gloves from my daughter for Christmas. 

Last winter, I lost one of my beautiful wool gloves and didn't know where I lost it. I was so very sad. Never had I seen such a wonderful pair of gloves and I couldn't wear them to warm both of my hands at the same time anymore. 

One evening, I was crocheting another blanket to donate, in memory of our son, and somehow I lost the crochet hook. I looked everywhere! (Apparently not, since I did not find it that night!)

The next evening, I started crocheting on a handbag. The yarn was a very thin piece and I could not coordinate my hands to wield a larger hook. So I began my search for the smaller, lost hook. I searched under the couch, behind the bookshelf, on the lamp stand, all to no avail.  

This calls for deep digging! I tore every blanket and cushion off the couch, again. But this time I stuck my hands waaaaaaaaaaay down in the cracks that never see light of day. 

OOF, somebody needs to vacuum here...heyyy! Look what I found!

All squished and wrinkled. But still as soft and warm as I remembered them, I found my long lost wool glove from last Christmas!!! (It wasn't even dirty, it was sooo far down in the corner - because we do vacuum the couch!)

Not exactly what I was looking for, but I'll take it! 

It got me thinking, there has to be a story in here somewhere.

So, I rolled the ideas around in my head for a few days, and then it came to me.

These last couple of weeks we have had many beautiful, warm, November days. Bound to make the best of it I have been walking on the road every day. One time, the shadow of my walking stick and I, made me think of something that Jesus once said. Something about carrying a cross. You see, I was using my walking stick because I may get tired and dizzy, or my knees may give out, or it just plain hurts to use my legs. But at that moment, I was balancing the stick on my shoulders to help me walk upright, and the shadow low on the ground was much like the picture of Jesus hanging on the cross.

The verse about Jesus telling us to pick up our cross daily and follow Him, has been a prickly one for me. I have never been one to enjoy pain and suffering. Who does? But what I had in mind as a picture of following Jesus didn't look at all like the cross. I wanted pretty flowers and simple things, not brokenness and grief and pain. Carrying a cross wasn't exactly what I was looking for.

It would be so much simpler to just lounge on the couch and say it hurts too much to move, but it will be worse if I don't. Here I am using a cane, I'm not that old! Since this is not going to go away, I have a choice to make every single day. What will I do with the time that has been given to me? So I continue to walk and then later look up the verse.

Jesus was telling the disciples about His death and resurrection, even though they had no idea what He was talking about at the time. He was telling them the cost of choosing to follow in His footsteps, how it will not be an easy path. How much may be lost, yet even more will be gained.

Then it occurred to me that it may be hard to embrace, but what I am learning is an even deeper dependence on His grace. I realized that I am literally taking up my cross daily and moving forward in spite of all the obstacles.

Now my cross may look so very different from yours. 

We all have something in our lives that no one else can carry for us.                                                     

But with Jesus on our side it becomes a little easier, knowing that Because He Lives we can face whatever cross we must bear, and it won't be long until we can lay those burdens down at the feet of Jesus and it will be worth it all. 

Carrying a cross? Every day? Not exactly what I was looking for. Who wants to embrace that?

But that is the very thing that I needed to remind me how important it really is to get up one more time, keep trying again, and keep me walking on the path where I meet Jesus every day, just so I can see His face smiling down on me when I finally arrive.

 

 

"If anyone would come after Me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me."   - Luke 9:23 

 

 

And those pesky little problems like losing things? Never give up, because you just never know where you will find that missing piece. (I did find my crochet hook the other day, when I was looking for a pen)

Lessons from rebuilding Brick by Brick daily

Written by: Sue Leerhoff