Peace

"Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you. I do not give as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled, and do not be afraid."

                                                                                   -John 14:27

This is the verse I held onto as the only thing I could comprehend in those early days. 

I was given a devotional book by a now dear friend, when we lost our son. 

I couldn't comprehend much, being so broken, 

but there was a very small part of me clinging to the truth. 

Only the grace of God helped us in those very dark early days of grief. 

If not for His love, 

in the form of a small group of people who chose to reach out 
in various ways, 
to give me a reason to keep going, 

to make me go out for coffee, 

just to keep me putting one foot in front of the other, 

when it would have been so much more desirable 

just to lay down in the coffin beside our son. 

The tenacity of friends, whether they are old friends or new ones are the best shape of God's hands I have ever felt.

 Nothing is the same now. 

 Every part of our lives has a different color, shape or form to it. 

But there is a little bit of green peeking 
through the ashen rubble of the forest. 

Everything hurts if you take too long to think about it, 

 the broken dreams, 

 the shattered lives, 

the family that will never become your legacy. 

The shadow of death never leaves the valley. 

We must look to the shepherd and let Him lead us the rest of the way.

 I am jumping ahead of the grief journey to where I am now, 

because in the earlier days, 

I did not have the presence of mind to write anything. 

I have heard some people can make it through by writing things down daily, 

or when random thoughts pop into their minds. 

I did not even the ability to count the days since, 

or know what day it was at all.

I do have a few writings from "special" days when I tried to put my feelings on paper. Perhaps, I will post them sometime. 

Until next time - keep your eyes on the sky - it won't long until that glorious reunion. What a day that will be. 

                                         ↝ Stories from the journey of my life ↜ 
written by: Sue Leerhoff ↝  follow me on my Facebook page ↜ - Brick by Brick