Questions

There's a country song that echoes my thoughts for quite some time now. Everything that has ever been endured, has been done before, somehow, somewhere, sometime. Humanity has been around for a long time. Now that we can also sing and record our thoughts...

(who knew?... :) just bear with me here... :) smile, :) you need one right now)

... it's pretty likely that you can find many songs to say what you hadn't thought of putting down on paper yet. Or perhaps you have written poems and thoughts during your time of tragedy. But it's still so comforting to hear someone else struggling with the same things. We thrive on community.

The most comforting words I can expect to hear on this earth - "I am so sorry that I can understand what you are going through."

We crave people who get us.

Clay Walker sings:
How in this world can we put a man on the moon
And still have a need for a place like St. Jude's
And why is one man born in a place where all they know is war
And a guy like me has always been free
And how can two people who've built a loving home
Try for years and never have a child of their own
And somewhere out there tonight there's a baby no one's holding tight
In need of love, to me that don't add up

And why did my cousin have to die in that crash
A good kid only 17, I still wonder about that
It seems unfair to me some get the chance to chase their dreams
And some don't, but what do I know?

I wasn't there the day you filled up the oceans
I didn't get to see you hang the stars in the sky
So I don't mean to second guess you or criticize what I don't understand
These are just a few questions I have
Why do I feel like you're hearing these prayers of mine
When so many outta be ahead of me in line
When you look down on me, can you see the good through all the bad
These are just a few questions I have

- Clay Walker, from the album A Few Questions

Long ago, a man named Job went through a series of disasters all at once. He lost all of his land, his home, his good health, his livestock, and every single one of his children. All he was left with was his wife, and from the sound of it, I wonder if he wished she would go away, too.

So he carries on the epic dialogue with God - "Why? Why? Why? Why me? Why them? Why not me instead?"

His friends tried to help. Emphasis on the word "tried".

They all came up with reasons to explain the "judgement of Job".

As if he didn't have enough guilt and sorrow already. Come on, people.

When Job finally gets tired of bantering back and forth with his friends and his wife, he decides to get to the bottom of this. He goes straight to the top.

He starts yelling at God! (So have I, by the way. But you know, it's quite all right. He has big shoulders, He can take it.)

"I want to speak to the Manager," Job demands. "Give me some answers here!"

He's feeling pretty brave. After all, have you met Job's wife?

Anyway, the two of them carry on this long (was it the first rap battle?) debate on why things happen the way they do.

God explains that Job is not quite big enough to understand yet. (that's quite an understatement)
We humans can not do what He has done.
We aren't seeing things from His side of the world. (this was definitely the very first - "You'll understand when you're older" speech...)

Take some time to read the book of Job, it's where things makes a little more sense.

Because we have the advantage of reading about it after the fact, we can see that it wasn't God's idea anyway, to destroy everything Job has ever known.

There are evil forces at work still today.
Until we are all home safe with the Father - we are a part of the epic battle that has raged for centuries.

I am no longer in search of a reason, even when my humanness wants to take over and dwell on what answers I can not have. I have to constantly remind myself of the truth that I do know, and rest in the promises that are free for the asking.

What it boils down to is, when it hurts to wonder why, no matter if you lost your son, daughter, or your grandchild through a freak accident, flirting with disaster, desperate measures, a destructive disease, or a victim of circumstance, none of those answers to the reasons will ever bring back your child. It hurts like hell, even if you know your child is in heaven.

I get that.

But the fact that I can no longer see my son, doesn't mean it's forever. It just feels like that right now.

Believe me, I am so sorry that I can understand what you are going through, even when I may not know all that you are enduring.

I'm not ok. And that's ok.

I am sending you a virtual hug and a real prayer for strength to fight your battles today. No matter what the reasons are.